Completed: Eat at a Hooters
I have an interesting relationship with Hooters. It’s pretty much everything I’m against: sports culture, women as objects, miniature meat that takes WAY too much effort to eat, and ladies with uniforms showing off tits and ass while it being considered a “family” restaurant.
Don’t get me wrong, Hooters ladies. I love you. I know many women who proudly wore the Hooters uniform. Make money however you goddamn please. I’m all about female empowerment, really, but I hate living in a society where it’s okay for our boobs to entertain a bunch of horny men while they’re eating dinner with their family, yet we’re uncomfortable when a woman breastfeeds in public, for example. In my opinion, this “family” restaurant perpetuates and symbolizes our sexual dysfunction in America.
Hence why I’ve avoided it.
Also, my dad once “accidentally” went to a Hooters with friends many years ago and my mom locked him out of our house because she thought it was inappropriate for a guy with two young daughters to be going there. I was scarred for life. How terrible could this place be for my mom to lock my dad out? Side note: my mom’s a savage.
Have I been judging Hooters too harshly all of these years? How can I judge a place I haven’t even stepped foot in? Are the wings really that good?
I had to go.
If you can see past the fried pile, that fleshy thing with a high ponytail is me. I ordered blackened shrimp off the “healthy” menu and coffee. Kris ordered the wings, which are his absolute favorite.
- Men screaming at the television. Bad.
- A good number of kids. Weird.
- Lots of cleav and booty, naturally. Ah, to be young and compact.
- Wings are gross. Sorry, Kris.
- My meal was delicious
- So many really young girls. I started wondering about if I ever wanted a job at Hooters, would they turn me down because of my age? I asked Kris. His response, “do you see anyone over the age of 30?” No.
- It was clean
- Not as sleazy as I expected
It’s not a place I’ll ever go to again, but it was worth the visit to experience something first-hand instead of ignorantly judging.