Given that I’m addicted to social media, this was one of the tougher goals Lyssa challenged me with. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are part of my every day routine.
Step one: Turn off all social media notifications. (By the way, Lyssa didn’t make this goal easy – I’ll touch on that later.)
Step two: Delete all apps.
Step three: Wait a week.
I woke up on Sunday morning and Lyssa immediately told me, “This is it. Today you’re going to start your blackout from social media for a week.” I didn’t have a warning or a moment to cry. I just had to do it. This sucked. On a normal day, I check the same websites (Huffington Post, Deadspin, ESPN, ProFootballTalk) and then I head to check social media. With social media being taken away, I was less connected to what was going on in the world.
In addition to feeling like I was missing out, I was also feeling left out of the joke. As it turns out, Lyssa was posting a bunch of Photoshopped images of me on our Facebook page. I’m sure most of you saw the pictures she posted — from me speaking at a Trump rally (gross), to me being pictured with Brett Favre (equally as gross). The worst is that I knew something was being posted on my wall but had no idea what, thanks to a few of my coworkers who approached me, alluded to the posts and said, “Damn man… Lyssa’s a savage.” I was so angry that I wasn’t in on a joke at my expense and I couldn’t do anything about it except wait. To steal a line from a popular movie, “I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”
Here are all of the photos she posted during the week:
Kris has accepted my challenge to avoid social media for one week. Twenty four hours in and he’s doing okay (other than asking me to check Twitter for him re: something football related – I said no). He won’t be on Facebook until next Sunday, so I’d like to like to share a few undiscovered pictures of him this week. Like that time he protested outside of the Supreme Court with Sarah Palin.As you may know, Kris has accepted my challenge to avoid social media for one week. He won’t be on Facebook until next Sunday, so I’m taking this time to share a few secret pictures of him that you might not know exist. For example, Kris simply loves camping. Here he is soaking up the great outdoors with two of his good friends. I encourage you to invite him to REI to go shopping once he’s back on here. He’d absolutely LOVE it.Did you know that Kris moonlights as a radio DJ on local country station WMZQ-FM (his favorite music genre)? You may know him by his on-air personality, DJ Corn-on-the-cob aka Jason Waterfalls. As you know, he won’t be on Facebook until Sunday, per the rules, so I’m sharing some “undiscovered” photos of him this week.I have to preface this post with a warning. The East vs. West Coast topic was very controversial 20 years ago. The heart feels what it wants to feel, but please keep your comments civil. Kris is a Tupac Shakur super fan. Kris recently emptied our entire savings account to buy this high-end piece of art to honor, and I quote Kris, “The greatest rapper of all time. Biggie doesn’t even come close. West side is the best side.” The painting now hangs next to his other treasured painting of President Obama holding the US Constitution in flames. As you know, he won’t be on Facebook until Sunday, per this challenge, so I’m sharing some “undiscovered” photos of him this week.During his summer break, Kris enjoys traveling to Mississippi to visit with his idol, Brett Favre. They’ve become very close friends. They spend their time together shopping for Crocs, getting drunk and singing Proud to be an American at the top of their lungs, and plotting ways to sabotage arch-nemesis Aaron Rodgers’ career. As you know, he can’t be on Facebook until Sunday, so I’m sharing some “undiscovered” photos of him this week.On this last day, I’d like to share this final “undiscovered” picture before Kris rejoins Facebook and sees what I’ve done. As you know from that time he protested with Sarah Palin, he’s a huge Donald J. Trump supporter. He recently spoke at one of his rallies about how racism is a liberal lie, that bacon is satan’s meat, and that viral videos of pregnant white girls doing the Whip/Nae Nae with their toddlers proves that ISIS has infiltrated America. It brought Mr. Trump to tears. Some say his speech was a campaign game changer. #trump2016
From Sunday to Sunday, I was off of all social media. Not once did I cheat. I feel like I learned a bit about myself and it wasn’t good. I learned that I need to be stimulated all the time by constant information. However, my desire for the bullshit, mindless information is greater than my desire to not be constantly stimulated, so with that said, I’m glad I’m back and I’m not leaving anytime soon.
