Sorry, everyone. There’s no accompanying video footage because of failed technology, but it happened during Sunday brunch at Cadillac Ranch. I’m kind of happy there’s no video.
Thanks to a helpful employee, he walked me through this and eased my anxiety. I didn’t want to get vertigo from a goddamn mechanical bull, so he treated me with tenderness. He said, “I won’t increase the speed unless you tell me.” What a kind man.
In addition to the bull, everyone is staring at you. I wasn’t drunk enough (or at all) for this. If I ever do this again, I will have at least two vodka tonics in my system.
I fell off before the bull went into warp speed mode. The saddle is really slippery, so you’re actually less likely to fall off because of speed and more likely to fall off because you really cannot get a good thigh grip, unless you’re wearing rubber pants, which would be a good strategy if you’re in a mechanical bull riding contest.
There that is.